you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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