you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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