My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
