there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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