She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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