): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
