Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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