apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
