Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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