did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
