Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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