She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
