I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
