Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
