Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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