i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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