Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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