you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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