Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
