My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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