guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
