My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
