i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
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There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
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I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
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