I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
