I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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