Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
