please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
