the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
