His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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