My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
