She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
