We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
