I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize