Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
