Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
