This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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