When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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