FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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