I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
A+ Viking dick
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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