Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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