I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
