I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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