let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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