God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
