Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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