I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
