The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
