When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
