I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
