dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
