What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
