): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I have aggressive nipples.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
