anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize