my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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