Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
