First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
BRING THE BAGELS
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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