Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
