I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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