yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
