Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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