oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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