Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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