I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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