I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize