They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
