I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Vodka?
Forever.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
