when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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